So your girlfriend is still talking to her ex-boyfriend. Your first instinct may be to start yelling and see if she backs off, but that may just drive her back to him, so here are some better options.
- Play it cool. This is really for those of you who are so secure in the relationship, or yourself, that you see no reason to do anything about it. You can handle this two ways. If you feel that she will NEVER go back to him and that her ex is wasting his time, then you can completely ignore your girl’s behavior. If you feel that she should know, at least, that you are aware of what is going on, then you can casually bring it up, say it’s cool and forget about it.
- Be the alpha male. If you feel that your girlfriend’s ex is trespassing on your territory, then approach him. Tell him that it isn’t acceptable to still be talking with your girlfriend. You can do some threatening or not. There are a few possible outcomes to this you should consider.
- Your girlfriend will find out. If you believe she will comply with your desires and break off communicating, this might be a happy outcome. However, if she gets pissed off that you are interfering in something that is none of your business, you may want to avoid this option.
- He ignores you. Honestly, this is the most likely outcome. If he is trying to get her back, he isn’t going to care what you say, so you will probably have to follow through on whatever threats you made. Just remember, most girls aren’t going to stick around if you land in prison
- He backs off. You may hit the jackpot and solve this problem the easy way, by having this intruder leave both of you alone. Your girl may be a little confused that her ex is ignoring her now, but that just means you can step into the role of the loving comforter.
- Bring it up with your girlfriend. This is the approach most guys take, mainly because it deals with the real problem: Why is she even talking to him? I don’t recommend getting worked up before you talk to her. Take some deep breaths, run a few laps or get drunk. Anything that will help you cool off before you bring this to your girl, is going to help you deal with this and keep your girlfriend. If you even patient enough, you can give her some time to tell you that she is communicating with her ex. If she tells you first, that is a huge sign that nothing shady is happening.
- Why her ex. The first thing you want to determine is if she is seeing her ex because she is still interested in him. If she is she may not tell you directly, so you need to read her body language. If she looks away from you or puts her hand to her mouth when she says that nothing is going on, suspect something is up. If she does convince you that it is completely platonic, you need to decide if you are comfortable allowing it to continue. Some girls will be uncomfortable that they can’t stay friends with whoever they want, and will resent being told what to do. In my opinion, the better option is to allow it to continue but ask her from time to time, how he’s doing. That way your girlfriend will know you trust her and she will be more open about what is going on.
- Is there an issue with you? Some people like to maintain contact with their ex’s so that they can keep their options available. That is less of an issue than if your girlfriend is seriously troubled about the state of the your relationship. If there is trouble in paradise, you are going to have to roll up your sleeves and work on improving things. Otherwise, she will definitely go back to a relationship that she thinks will work out better. After all, if she is talking to an ex, she is probably comparing the two of you every time she sees him.
Don’t panic if your girlfriend is still seeing an ex-boyfriend. It is probably harmless; she is still with you isn’t she? But read the signs and keep your options open.If you are 100% serious about getting your girl back before she moves on, then I recommend you get a guide to help you through this process (otherwise you might mess it up). Click here for a guide that works and I recommend (watch this video).